I made homemade biscuits and gravy from scratch this morning. Go me. Yeah, it's sad that it feels like some sort of victory. I can count how many times my rolling pin has been used. So, with flour all over my hands, I feel very happy to have made something that cost like a nickle instead of buying the frozen Pilsbury biscuits for three bucks. Plus, with my commitment not to buy new food until we use all we have, it's good to know that we won't have to just eat beans and rice. We have plenty of flour.
Our oldest daughter, Jolie, and her boyfriend were coming home from the beach yesterday and with it being 108 degrees outside (literally), his car broke down. When Adrian came home from work at 6:00 pm, we drove down to rescue them. It was about a three and a half hour trip to find them, which gave us lots of chat time. Of course all I could talk about was Jen Hatmaker's book, 7. I don't know why this book is making me feel so messed up, but it is.
I have been feeling restless and frustrated since I began reading it. I am realizing the extent of the excess in my life and it makes my heart hurt. I feel impatient. I told Adrian that I want to just give everything away and go live in the forest with him and the children. We could camp and live off the land. Wouldn't that be soooo romantic? I held his hand as he drove, and visualized myself fetching water from the the river and our little dirty, barefoot babies gathering berries.
Adrian reminded me that I hate camping. He's right. I do. As a kid, I loved it though, so maybe my camper spirit is still in there somewhere. Plus he mentioned, "How could you survive without Facebook if you lived in the forest?" I hung my head in shame. The old me (as if I am a new me already, which I am definitely not) would have jumped up to defend my Social Network Habit. It's not so bad. I need it. I use it instead of e mail. People send Lula Belle questions in my message box. (I write a weekly newspaper advice column, called Ask Lula Belle). I have to check it frequently. I have to know if someone needs me.
But I didn't defend myself this time. I know I don't just use it to receive messages. I stalk people on it. I am a stalker. I stalk my friends. Sometimes for HOURS. I look through their family vacation photographs. I read their updates. I know when their cars break down, or when they have gone to the dentist, when they clean their house, when they bake cookies, when they execute a project from Pintrest, and when they need prayers. But because I know all this stuff about the folks I care about, I don't call them any more. We don't have dinner parties any more. What in the heck would we talk about if we were to get together? We already know everything. And plus, all my funny stories would fall on dead ears 'cause they already know the punch line from reading about it on my funny status that got like 56 "likes."
There is a chapter in the book about Media. After reading it, I had to ask myself if Media like Facebook is a false Idol in my life. It totally is. So are certain TV shows, like Sister Wives. I really like that show. I really like the whole TLC channel. In 7, Jen Hatmaker and her entire family give up 7 forms of Media for a month. It's a funny chapter. Her writing makes me laugh and she seems to keep it real.
I want my family to give up 7 forms of media too. We pay 78 dollars a month to watch television. Good grief. That's dumb. We didn't have it for years and years and did just fine. Adrian says he won't give it up, but I can do it. I suppose it is a tiny step. It's not the same as giving everything away to go live in the forest, but it may feel like it. Goodbye Cody and his four wives. I'll miss you. Goodbye Baby shows that make me want to have 10 more babies. Goodbye Facebook. I will not be logging in until August first, come what may. I don't even think I am going to announce it. (ha ha, I just did.) I will just be missing in action. But really, who cares? My friends and I have about 500 friends each. Out of 500 people, who could miss just one? And if they really need me, they know my phone number.
Oh man, I better delete the Facebook app from my phone. Too much temptation that thing is. It chirps at me all the time, "Chirp! Someone loves you. Chirp! Yes, you matter. Chirp! Yes, you must be important to have 73 messages and notifications. Chirp! You are so funny that 56 people like you right now at the exact moment." I don't need this. Yes, I am deep down an insecure person, but the reassurance that I am loved only needs to come from God and my family.... not from folks I haven't seen in twenty years. Sigh.
"Sometimes you have to give up a like for something you love."
Goals: continue to eat what we already have before buying more. Give up Facebook for 30 days. Keep cleaning out those drawers.
Dear Heavenly Father, I give thanks to Thee for the restlessness I am experiencing. I thank Thee for awakening me. Three more children are coming home today. I ask Thee to help me be a good teacher to them. Help me be a good example. Help me fill the Facebook void with actual productivity. Help me guide my children to what is truly meaningful and important in life. Help me bring them closer to Thee. In the name of the One who said, Let the children come to me, Amen.
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