Holy Guacamole! It has been 5 months since my last post. And I was on such a roll this summer. Damn. How did I lose my groove? The button on my big ole ugly mom jeans is shaking. I made reindeer treats this week, which were no bake cookies, and I ate like 30 of them in two days. I have none left to give to my "neighbors" which is how I explained the reason for making them in the first place.
I ate 30 no bake cookies. The recipe calls for: coconut flakes, oatmeal, chocolate chips, powdered sugar, 3 sticks of butter, and sanding sugar to roll them in so they will be pretty.
Oh my lawd... I ate 3 sticks of butter in two days.
And I was still hungry.
Obviously, it is really easy for me to quit being productive. I was feeling so good getting rid of all the excess in my life this summer. I was busy cleaning out my closets, my drawers, being mindful not to take more than I should, giving away the extra. What happened?
Oh, I can easily blame it on several things. I can divert my failures like no one's business. I can play the "I've got 5 kids" card. I can play the "I am a full time college student" card. But I think this time, I am going to own this one. I dropped the ball.
But I ain't a bad person. I am good on the inside. I am the opposite of how a lot of folks see other people. They point out: "Hey, you know she's just so fake. She looks like she has it all together, but really, she's a total bitch. You do not want to be friends with her."
With me, I bet folks say, "Hey, I know she looks like a big fat mess, but give her a chance. Deep down, and I mean ya gotta really look deep down, she's really pretty sweet. She means well... at least I think she does. Oh well, at least she makes me look good when I am with her."
Any way... so I dropped the ball. It is Christmas Eve Eve today. I know there will be so many temptations staring at me in the face this week, because let's face it, with 5 children: I am about to become overloaded with a bunch of excess. Toys, junk, crap, stuff! And the food! I am about to be tempted with more sticks of butter to eat in a variety of ways. I live in Georgia, honey. Paula Deen didn't invent cookin' with butter.
Should I just say, well, I already dropped the ball, might as well go out with a bang. I can start over on New Year's Day just like the rest of the world.
Or, should I start today? Just start right now? I could bring a fruit salad to mama's house on Christmas. I could eat carrot stix instead of carrot cake. I could tell my children where my hiding places are... you know... the places I have stashed yummy gifts from my neighbors... you know, where they ring the doorbell, I snatch the box of fudge and treats, and my kids holler, "Hey, who was at the door?" And I go, "Oh, it was Miss Fannie Sue, and look, she brought us this lovely card to enjoy!" And they go, "You mean she didn't bake her famous cookies this year?" And I go, "Oh, didn't I tell you she came down with a bad case of "diabeetus," yeah, poor thing can't even have sugar in her house anymore. No more cookies."
And I suppose I could give my children's old toys away. They are about to get new ones, I am sure. Yep, I can totally do that. I think we will play a game this year. For each new thing Santa brings, put one old toy in this big box. For each new outfit you get, put one old one in here too. We will drop it off at the Goodwill truck the day after Christmas. Hey, that's a really great idea. I like it.
Dear Heavenly Father, Sorry I dropped the ball. I am so weak when it comes to temptations. Please help me find my strength in thee instead of in other places. Other places give me false hope. I need real hope. In the name of the One who brings Hope to the world, Amen.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
One Drop at a Time
I am on a roll, man. I mean, when I get the fire, you better just step outta da way. I found some folks to take the rest of my children's books. I have a teacher friend who told me that a lot of her students do not even own one book. That makes me sad, but it also makes me happy because she always makes sure that those kids get their very own books to keep! I loaded her up with two boxes of nice books, and it makes me smile knowing that this gift will make her students smile too.
I have another box waiting for one of Mollie's friends who is in Girl Scouts. The Scouts are scouting children's books as a part of a literacy project. And I STILL have an entire floor to ceiling bookcase full of wonderful children's stories. All together with the books I gave to other places, I gave away two huge book cases worth. Can we all say: excessive? I am a book hoarder.
I turned one empty book case into a craft storage area and it looks cute as heck. It looks very Pintresty. For goodness sakes, I dotted the lettering on the lables on each container of "paint" or "glue" etc.. This provided the solution to the baskets that were always spilling over under the baby grand piano. Who stores things under their pianos? Don't do that. It's ugly, and I cannot tell you how many mini concusions we've suffered from going under there to find the glue gun. I've created SPACE in my life, and prevented any future brain damage.
The other book case is in my teenage daughters' room. Now they can display all their dumb crap. Don't really get me started on that. They decided to paint their bedroom this summer and that meant I had to endure all their stupid stuff being hauled haphazardly into the playroom for more days than it would have taken a one legged, no armed house painter to do the job. Just call me grace, but trying to get across the playroom to the laundry room has put forty- five bruises on body parts I did not know I had.
I also tackled the other basement closet... the one across from the scary one under the stairs. This closet was originally a "Game and Puzzle" closet, but over the years, it evolved into something much more "special." It became somewhat of a mystery because you couldn't even SEE the shelves for all the stuff that was piled up to the ceiling infront of it. Don't ask me how it happened unless you have five children, and you were nursing your fourth when you got pregnant with the fifth, and you stroked out after the baby was born, and were pretty useless doing chores for a year. Things just got thrown into closets, and I guess it was so fun that we made it a habit. For six years. Bless our hearts.
I need to start uploading the before and after pictures of all this awesomeness. I text the pictures to my little sister every day. She does it too. We do at least ONE thing a day to get rid of our excess and try to find ways to give it away in a good way. We send the proof so we can be accountable. It's so much fun. It's unbelievable what we hold on to in our drawers, on our shelves, in our closets, under our beds, etc... It really makes ya think about whatcha really need in this life.
I gotta a long way to go, but I have taken many steps in the right direction. I don't have to do this whole thing at once. Each step feels good, even if it's a baby step. And it's one step closer to GLORY!
You can fill a jug just one drop at a time. --Buddha
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank Thee for always providing what we need. Please forgive me for teaching my family to be so gluttonous, taking way more than our fair share of books, clothes, toys, food, and things. I thank Thee for the gift of the Holy Spirit who fills my heart with joy each time I empty a drawer or overhaul a closet, finding people who need the excess I've been holding on to. Help us let go of our attachment to things. In the name of the One who was a king without riches, Amen.
I have another box waiting for one of Mollie's friends who is in Girl Scouts. The Scouts are scouting children's books as a part of a literacy project. And I STILL have an entire floor to ceiling bookcase full of wonderful children's stories. All together with the books I gave to other places, I gave away two huge book cases worth. Can we all say: excessive? I am a book hoarder.
I turned one empty book case into a craft storage area and it looks cute as heck. It looks very Pintresty. For goodness sakes, I dotted the lettering on the lables on each container of "paint" or "glue" etc.. This provided the solution to the baskets that were always spilling over under the baby grand piano. Who stores things under their pianos? Don't do that. It's ugly, and I cannot tell you how many mini concusions we've suffered from going under there to find the glue gun. I've created SPACE in my life, and prevented any future brain damage.
The other book case is in my teenage daughters' room. Now they can display all their dumb crap. Don't really get me started on that. They decided to paint their bedroom this summer and that meant I had to endure all their stupid stuff being hauled haphazardly into the playroom for more days than it would have taken a one legged, no armed house painter to do the job. Just call me grace, but trying to get across the playroom to the laundry room has put forty- five bruises on body parts I did not know I had.
I also tackled the other basement closet... the one across from the scary one under the stairs. This closet was originally a "Game and Puzzle" closet, but over the years, it evolved into something much more "special." It became somewhat of a mystery because you couldn't even SEE the shelves for all the stuff that was piled up to the ceiling infront of it. Don't ask me how it happened unless you have five children, and you were nursing your fourth when you got pregnant with the fifth, and you stroked out after the baby was born, and were pretty useless doing chores for a year. Things just got thrown into closets, and I guess it was so fun that we made it a habit. For six years. Bless our hearts.
I need to start uploading the before and after pictures of all this awesomeness. I text the pictures to my little sister every day. She does it too. We do at least ONE thing a day to get rid of our excess and try to find ways to give it away in a good way. We send the proof so we can be accountable. It's so much fun. It's unbelievable what we hold on to in our drawers, on our shelves, in our closets, under our beds, etc... It really makes ya think about whatcha really need in this life.
I gotta a long way to go, but I have taken many steps in the right direction. I don't have to do this whole thing at once. Each step feels good, even if it's a baby step. And it's one step closer to GLORY!
You can fill a jug just one drop at a time. --Buddha
Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank Thee for always providing what we need. Please forgive me for teaching my family to be so gluttonous, taking way more than our fair share of books, clothes, toys, food, and things. I thank Thee for the gift of the Holy Spirit who fills my heart with joy each time I empty a drawer or overhaul a closet, finding people who need the excess I've been holding on to. Help us let go of our attachment to things. In the name of the One who was a king without riches, Amen.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Closet Space and Heart Space
I found out that Jen Hatmaker, the author of the book 7, is going to be speaking near my hometown this winter. Yippeeee! My mama, my sisters and my friends are so going to hear her. If you haven't read this book, you should.
This morning, my sweetheart and I went to Lowe's and bought some shelving materials for the utility closet downstairs. Wanna hear something weird? We built our house 10 years ago, we have seven people living here, and we have never had shelves in the utility closet. It has been empty. All this time. And I have been whining about lack of closet space for ten years. And now that I am on a mission to give away everything, we are making a functional storage space. It's hilarious.
I have been making steady progress on my personal mutiny upon my gluttonous ways. Nothing earth shattering. If you came over to visit me, you probably wouldn't even notice what has changed. You probably wouldn't appreciate my children's closet overhaul unless you had seen the condition these closets were in before. And you probably wouldn't peek in my drawers, so that marvelousness would be lost on you too. It doesn't really matter. I am having the time of my life right now. No joke. My hands have been busy. My back has been sore. And it feels good. I am giving things away. I am letting go of things. It is very freeing.
And it is also a smack upside the head. When I go through a closet, I feel ashamed. Here, I have been hoarding things, taking way more than our fair share, when there are children right here in my own community who are homeless. There are children whose parents do not have the money to dress their children in properly fitting clothing, and my seven year old owns enough clothes for probably six children. Maybe ten. And blankets... I have enough blankets to keep twenty families warm during the winter.
I just have mindlessly accumulated such excess. And by my calculations, we are not rich by any means. We have five children. We live on an artist/ architect income...which in this economy means actually living on a draftman's salary, and that's it. I am a full time college student and a starving writer. So, I thought boo hoo, we have to say no to lots of things our friends get to say yes to.
And here's where the real change is happening.........
It's happening in my heart. Who knew that creating more closet space would translate into having more heart space? My heart feels bigger. As in it is gaining more room to love. More room for goodness.
Because who cares that we have to say no to dance lessons when other families have to say no to a meal?
Or who cares that we can't take the kids out to our favorite restaurant when other mothers have to say no to medication that would make a sore throat feel better.
Globally speaking, my family is in the tip top income bracket. If you are reading this, then so is yours. Got electricty? A computer? Enough food to eat today? Then, you're like me, enjoying the luxuries of living in the tip top income bracket in the world. I would not be able to look someone from a third world country in the eye and say something like, "Gosh, this economy sucks. We've had to make so many sacrifices... I mean, like I have converted all our favorite name brands to generic, and we don't get to go out for pizza every Friday any more, and I wish my husband could get a new car, but he'll have to keep driving his old one for a while longer...Aren't times so tough?"
Try telling this sob story to someone who eats a bowl of rice a day and feels lucky about it. Tell it to someone who has never had a bed, or a pillow, to a mother who has watched three of her babies die in her arms from a preventable illness. Even locally speaking, try telling this sob story to a child from my daughter's class who has been in four foster homes in seven months. If I couldn't tell my "sob story" to them, then I probably should shut up and stop telling it to anyone, including myself.
I am selfish. And the anecdote to selfishness is gratitude. So, I have started counting my blessings when I wake up in the morning. I name them one by one like that children's song, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done." The alarm goes off, and I start scrolling through my blessings and think of ten before I get out of bed:
1. indoor plumbing (come on, we are all grateful for that first thing in the morning, aren't we?)
2. good health
3. a family to love
4. corrective eyewear so I can see where I am going
5. central heating and air
6. cozy beds
7. enough food to eat
8. clean water to drink
9. a roof over our heads
10.being married to a good kisser ('cause let's face it, sometimes it's hard to be married, and if he was a bad kisser, would it be worth it to endure through the tough times? I think not.)
It starts the day off with a smile! I am like, whoa! I am way too blessed to be stressed. If I complain about ANYTHING, please someone slap me.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am taking personal inventory of all the excess in my life, and I am ashamed I ever complained that there was not enough. I am ashamed that I ever wanted more. Because all I need is right here. I thank Thee for the gift of the Holy Spirit who is my comforter and guide. The sweet, soft promptings of this Spirit are leading me to keep taking the next right step. I thank Thee for Thy patience with me as I am definitely a work in progress... who is extremely grateful beyond words. In the name of the One who said if I knew the treasure in the field, I would give everything away to have it. Amen.
And it is also a smack upside the head. When I go through a closet, I feel ashamed. Here, I have been hoarding things, taking way more than our fair share, when there are children right here in my own community who are homeless. There are children whose parents do not have the money to dress their children in properly fitting clothing, and my seven year old owns enough clothes for probably six children. Maybe ten. And blankets... I have enough blankets to keep twenty families warm during the winter.
I just have mindlessly accumulated such excess. And by my calculations, we are not rich by any means. We have five children. We live on an artist/ architect income...which in this economy means actually living on a draftman's salary, and that's it. I am a full time college student and a starving writer. So, I thought boo hoo, we have to say no to lots of things our friends get to say yes to.
And here's where the real change is happening.........
It's happening in my heart. Who knew that creating more closet space would translate into having more heart space? My heart feels bigger. As in it is gaining more room to love. More room for goodness.
Because who cares that we have to say no to dance lessons when other families have to say no to a meal?
Or who cares that we can't take the kids out to our favorite restaurant when other mothers have to say no to medication that would make a sore throat feel better.
Globally speaking, my family is in the tip top income bracket. If you are reading this, then so is yours. Got electricty? A computer? Enough food to eat today? Then, you're like me, enjoying the luxuries of living in the tip top income bracket in the world. I would not be able to look someone from a third world country in the eye and say something like, "Gosh, this economy sucks. We've had to make so many sacrifices... I mean, like I have converted all our favorite name brands to generic, and we don't get to go out for pizza every Friday any more, and I wish my husband could get a new car, but he'll have to keep driving his old one for a while longer...Aren't times so tough?"
Try telling this sob story to someone who eats a bowl of rice a day and feels lucky about it. Tell it to someone who has never had a bed, or a pillow, to a mother who has watched three of her babies die in her arms from a preventable illness. Even locally speaking, try telling this sob story to a child from my daughter's class who has been in four foster homes in seven months. If I couldn't tell my "sob story" to them, then I probably should shut up and stop telling it to anyone, including myself.
I am selfish. And the anecdote to selfishness is gratitude. So, I have started counting my blessings when I wake up in the morning. I name them one by one like that children's song, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done." The alarm goes off, and I start scrolling through my blessings and think of ten before I get out of bed:
1. indoor plumbing (come on, we are all grateful for that first thing in the morning, aren't we?)
2. good health
3. a family to love
4. corrective eyewear so I can see where I am going
5. central heating and air
6. cozy beds
7. enough food to eat
8. clean water to drink
9. a roof over our heads
10.being married to a good kisser ('cause let's face it, sometimes it's hard to be married, and if he was a bad kisser, would it be worth it to endure through the tough times? I think not.)
It starts the day off with a smile! I am like, whoa! I am way too blessed to be stressed. If I complain about ANYTHING, please someone slap me.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am taking personal inventory of all the excess in my life, and I am ashamed I ever complained that there was not enough. I am ashamed that I ever wanted more. Because all I need is right here. I thank Thee for the gift of the Holy Spirit who is my comforter and guide. The sweet, soft promptings of this Spirit are leading me to keep taking the next right step. I thank Thee for Thy patience with me as I am definitely a work in progress... who is extremely grateful beyond words. In the name of the One who said if I knew the treasure in the field, I would give everything away to have it. Amen.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Lead Us Not Into Temptation, but Deliver Us From Facebook
Here's the problem... give a gluttonous person (me) an inch, and she will take a mile. I decided to quit Facebook for a month. But then, I had to write someone a message. I executed the whole transaction in 5 seconds. And then, another day, I realized I had lots of messages, and had been ignoring my peeps. So, I decided that I would just limit myself to only responding to messages, only once a day, for only five minutes or less. Well, then another day, I noticed birthday notifications and I just had to do a little posting on their walls, you know, to wish my friends a happy birthday. And then Whooooooossssssshhhhhh! I was sucked into the vortex of Facebook Land.
Just this morning, I did my five minute check and an hour later the phone rang and dragged me back into my real world. I was stalking again. Oh, man, the temptation to see a friend's new baby photos, and another friend's adorable vacation photos was overwhelming. I could not resist. But it's horrible how five minutes turns into one hour without my recollection of how it slipped away.
ONE HOUR! Do you have any idea how much goodness I could execute in ONE HOUR? But instead, I wasted an hour of my life looking at pictures of other people's lives. Facebook: I love you and I hate you.
Well, speaking of time... I have some time available to execute some goodness before I have to head on to the dentist. I am still working on my book shelves. I have over a thousand children's books. I am not exaggerating. In fact, I may be underestimating. I was a preschool teacher for a long time. I collected good children's books like some women collect shoes. Reading books to my children as they fall asleep is the absolute BEST part of motherhood, to me. I had four copies of the Giving Tree! My very special books, I am keeping on the shelves, and saving for future grandchildren. Nicholas still likes story books, but my other four children have graduated on to chapter books and novels they read to themselves. I have given away 3 boxes already, but there's so much more. I am ashamed.
I think I can tackle three shelves before my dental appointment. And possibly even another closet this afternoon. Facebook... get thee behind me!
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to bear it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
Dear Heavenly Father, I am grateful to hear Thine promise that Thou will not give me any temptation I cannot bear in this life. As a gluttonous person, I struggle with temptations all day long. I am tempted by too much food, too much time on Facebook, too much of so many things. I give into my temptations and turn away from Thee. Just for today, let my knees hit the floor when I want too much. Because I know that what I am really craving.... is Thee. In the name of the One who came to deliver me, Amen.
Just this morning, I did my five minute check and an hour later the phone rang and dragged me back into my real world. I was stalking again. Oh, man, the temptation to see a friend's new baby photos, and another friend's adorable vacation photos was overwhelming. I could not resist. But it's horrible how five minutes turns into one hour without my recollection of how it slipped away.
ONE HOUR! Do you have any idea how much goodness I could execute in ONE HOUR? But instead, I wasted an hour of my life looking at pictures of other people's lives. Facebook: I love you and I hate you.
Well, speaking of time... I have some time available to execute some goodness before I have to head on to the dentist. I am still working on my book shelves. I have over a thousand children's books. I am not exaggerating. In fact, I may be underestimating. I was a preschool teacher for a long time. I collected good children's books like some women collect shoes. Reading books to my children as they fall asleep is the absolute BEST part of motherhood, to me. I had four copies of the Giving Tree! My very special books, I am keeping on the shelves, and saving for future grandchildren. Nicholas still likes story books, but my other four children have graduated on to chapter books and novels they read to themselves. I have given away 3 boxes already, but there's so much more. I am ashamed.
I think I can tackle three shelves before my dental appointment. And possibly even another closet this afternoon. Facebook... get thee behind me!
"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to bear it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
Dear Heavenly Father, I am grateful to hear Thine promise that Thou will not give me any temptation I cannot bear in this life. As a gluttonous person, I struggle with temptations all day long. I am tempted by too much food, too much time on Facebook, too much of so many things. I give into my temptations and turn away from Thee. Just for today, let my knees hit the floor when I want too much. Because I know that what I am really craving.... is Thee. In the name of the One who came to deliver me, Amen.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Do most people have one junk closet that everything gets squeezed into like the way I try to still wear my jeans so I don't have to go up another size? I have a really scary closet in my house. It is under the basement staircase. It had things inside of it that I haven't touched in 10 years. Way in the back of it, it had old copper wiring, carpet rolls, and extra wood scraps from when we built our house. Closer to the door were bags of blankets, sheets, old toys, camping gear galore, suitcases, tennis rackets, and who knows what else. Opening the closet is tricky, just like me sitting in my jeans takes some skill: Do it the wrong way, the dam will break, and there will be spillage.
I am so joyful to report that I tackled the closet under the stairs on Sunday. I took everything out. Just doing that task took about two hours. I might die from like a black lung within a week from inhaling so much dust, but I did it. Have you ever seen that show where a professional organizer cleans out someone's house and puts everything into categories? They make a throw away pile, a give away pile, a yard sale pile, and a keep pile. Well, that is exactly what I did.
Part of the process was easy, but part of it was difficult. I sorted and sorted, and nearly broke my back. I took all the camping gear... which is a lot of gear, lemme tell ya, 'cause I married me a mountain man... any way, I hauled all that stuff out to the shed...which I know is kinda like installing a trap door on a canoe. Now the shed is overflowing... but I am working on it.
I have hauled off more loot to thrift stores. I am now to the point where I am venturing out to new thrift stores where they don't know me, so they won't wonder how one woman could possibly have THAT much stuff to give away. It's shameful.
My bonus is that I have quite a good collection of things to have a decent yard sale this weekend. Plus, I have copper wiring to sell. Cha-ching! You know how I sold enough pimp style old gold bling bling last week to get my daughter's truck fixed? Well, Adrian had a car accident two days later and we had to just fork over one arm and one leg to get it on the road again. It's always something. This summer has been majorly expensive with graduation, illness, dental procedures, dental emergencies, birthdays, car repairs on both cars, bla bla bla. It is bad.
This morning, you woulda thought there was something a little extra in my coffee beans because I cleaned out the boys' closet! Actually, it was a two day project that I finished this morning. I do have a life, ya know, and it is a very busy life with five children and things to do besides clean, which is like the main reason closets in this house end up so out of control in the first place. But hey, five minutes here, ten minutes there, really adds up.
My point is this: I am making progress! And ya know what? There really is more room for the holy spirit in my life. Going through the excess, taking real inventory of it, and then letting go of it, is good for the soul. Just one closet, one drawer, or one shelf at a time. Each time I step away from gluttony, brings me one step closer to glory! Hallelujah!
I am so joyful to report that I tackled the closet under the stairs on Sunday. I took everything out. Just doing that task took about two hours. I might die from like a black lung within a week from inhaling so much dust, but I did it. Have you ever seen that show where a professional organizer cleans out someone's house and puts everything into categories? They make a throw away pile, a give away pile, a yard sale pile, and a keep pile. Well, that is exactly what I did.
Part of the process was easy, but part of it was difficult. I sorted and sorted, and nearly broke my back. I took all the camping gear... which is a lot of gear, lemme tell ya, 'cause I married me a mountain man... any way, I hauled all that stuff out to the shed...which I know is kinda like installing a trap door on a canoe. Now the shed is overflowing... but I am working on it.
I have hauled off more loot to thrift stores. I am now to the point where I am venturing out to new thrift stores where they don't know me, so they won't wonder how one woman could possibly have THAT much stuff to give away. It's shameful.
My bonus is that I have quite a good collection of things to have a decent yard sale this weekend. Plus, I have copper wiring to sell. Cha-ching! You know how I sold enough pimp style old gold bling bling last week to get my daughter's truck fixed? Well, Adrian had a car accident two days later and we had to just fork over one arm and one leg to get it on the road again. It's always something. This summer has been majorly expensive with graduation, illness, dental procedures, dental emergencies, birthdays, car repairs on both cars, bla bla bla. It is bad.
This morning, you woulda thought there was something a little extra in my coffee beans because I cleaned out the boys' closet! Actually, it was a two day project that I finished this morning. I do have a life, ya know, and it is a very busy life with five children and things to do besides clean, which is like the main reason closets in this house end up so out of control in the first place. But hey, five minutes here, ten minutes there, really adds up.
My point is this: I am making progress! And ya know what? There really is more room for the holy spirit in my life. Going through the excess, taking real inventory of it, and then letting go of it, is good for the soul. Just one closet, one drawer, or one shelf at a time. Each time I step away from gluttony, brings me one step closer to glory! Hallelujah!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Solid Gold
It has been a week since I began my own personal mutiny on the excess in my life, and good golly I have accomplished a lot in a short amount of time. Maybe I am not so hopeless after all. If I can continue my attack on my gluttonous ways like this every week, I may actually be able to CHANGE.
Cue music: ...if ya wanna make this world a betta place, take a look at yo'self and make a CHANGE. Sha-mon... Whatever the heck that means.
I know my goal was to just clean out one drawer a day, but it was too boring. I needed to see something BIG. I am pleased to report, that after many hours of hard work, my 7 year old, Mollie, has a FLOOR in her closet. And ya know how I said something like, "my poor kidz don't got much clothes, and what they have is just some hand me downs." Well, the hand me downs part is true, but the "not much clothes" is a bald faced lie. Well, it was more like a bald faced state of denial. My children have more clothes than will fit in their closets. They have clothes multiplying, making little baby clothes, that have sprung forth from their closets and drawers, and take up enough room to fill a football stadium.
So, one organized closet down, 10 bags to the Goodwill, and 2 bags of returned hand me downs to the proper lender of some might fine finery, GONE! GOODBYE EXCESS. I have given away one box of books, only about a hundred left to go on that.
I also cleaned out my jewelry box. I had been hearin' all those creepy commercials about Old Gold Jewelry and wondered if it was a legit thing to do. There is a new business down the high way that has some poor dude in cut off jean shorts, jumpin' up and down like a fool, by the side of the road, with a sign that says, "We buy Gold!" I admired his enthusiasm, so, I took my old gold and silver there and had it appraised. I wasn't going to sell it unless I could get fifty dollars for it. Otherwise, it just didn't seem worth it, even though this jewelry was all crap. Broken gold flat chains that were popular when I was in 7th grade. Gold ID bracelets that I haven't worn since the late 80's when it was considered OK to look like a pimp. I had gold chains, silver chains, clasp bracelets, I had silver and gold earrings that I haven't worn since 1992. This stuff was nothin'. I even had a tangled up add- a- bead necklace from 1983. Sentimental? Maybe. But I don't need to be attached to it. Can't take it to heaven.
So, a really cute and sweet lady ran some tests on my stash. She had to make sure it was real. Then she weighed it, and calculated the fair market price since it can fluctuate from day to day, hour to hour. I must have come at the right time because I nearly shit a gold bar when she told me the value.
Sorry, that was rude. Let me just put it this way, I walked out of that store with enough dough for a new transmission, which is what I am going to do with this cold hard cash. Jolie's truck needs some major work and now I've got the funds to fix it. Hot diggity dog! I think of it as a charitable cause. My oldest is 18 years old. She is a beautiful honor graduate from high school. She is going places and needs a vehicle. We've had this old truck sitting in our driveway for more years than I am comfortable admitting.
Y'all, go through your jewelry boxes and sell all those ugly gold nugget rings. They ain't comin' back in style, I promise.
The food situation: Screw it. I went a week eating rice, biscuits, and then my delicious loaves of homemade white bread. I ate soup and vegetables out of a can. Remember, we had been to the beach the week before I started this nonsense (I mean, spiritual journey.) We had left our refrigerator empty by our standards. No yogurt, no milk, no greens.
Nicholas ate some squirt cheese from the pantry yesterday, I mean, what else was the boy to eat? He vomited violently all over the sofa afterwards. I have filled my intestines, and the intestines of my loved ones with enough glutton glue, to last us to the end of time. I have decided to put this crap up for the end of the world, as was intended. I figure if the Apocalypse happens, we will eat that awfulness then. Until that day comes, let us enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables of this glorious season! Oh, and um, some whole wheat waffles and bagels.
Facebook update: I have peeked twice. To check messages only. I was on there for like 5 seconds each time. I was scheduled to meet my friend yesterday, and had to tell her Nicholas was puking. I didn't have her number. Honestly. On my honor. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.
I will say that existing without my daily strolls through status update land, has given me more time to do productive things. I really don't miss it.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for being patient with me as I mindlessly accumulated all this excess in my life. I am feeling joy as I am letting go of things. There is more space for the Holy Spirit already. I give thanks in the name of the One who says I am worth more than gold. Amen.
Cue music: ...if ya wanna make this world a betta place, take a look at yo'self and make a CHANGE. Sha-mon... Whatever the heck that means.
I know my goal was to just clean out one drawer a day, but it was too boring. I needed to see something BIG. I am pleased to report, that after many hours of hard work, my 7 year old, Mollie, has a FLOOR in her closet. And ya know how I said something like, "my poor kidz don't got much clothes, and what they have is just some hand me downs." Well, the hand me downs part is true, but the "not much clothes" is a bald faced lie. Well, it was more like a bald faced state of denial. My children have more clothes than will fit in their closets. They have clothes multiplying, making little baby clothes, that have sprung forth from their closets and drawers, and take up enough room to fill a football stadium.
So, one organized closet down, 10 bags to the Goodwill, and 2 bags of returned hand me downs to the proper lender of some might fine finery, GONE! GOODBYE EXCESS. I have given away one box of books, only about a hundred left to go on that.
I also cleaned out my jewelry box. I had been hearin' all those creepy commercials about Old Gold Jewelry and wondered if it was a legit thing to do. There is a new business down the high way that has some poor dude in cut off jean shorts, jumpin' up and down like a fool, by the side of the road, with a sign that says, "We buy Gold!" I admired his enthusiasm, so, I took my old gold and silver there and had it appraised. I wasn't going to sell it unless I could get fifty dollars for it. Otherwise, it just didn't seem worth it, even though this jewelry was all crap. Broken gold flat chains that were popular when I was in 7th grade. Gold ID bracelets that I haven't worn since the late 80's when it was considered OK to look like a pimp. I had gold chains, silver chains, clasp bracelets, I had silver and gold earrings that I haven't worn since 1992. This stuff was nothin'. I even had a tangled up add- a- bead necklace from 1983. Sentimental? Maybe. But I don't need to be attached to it. Can't take it to heaven.
So, a really cute and sweet lady ran some tests on my stash. She had to make sure it was real. Then she weighed it, and calculated the fair market price since it can fluctuate from day to day, hour to hour. I must have come at the right time because I nearly shit a gold bar when she told me the value.
Sorry, that was rude. Let me just put it this way, I walked out of that store with enough dough for a new transmission, which is what I am going to do with this cold hard cash. Jolie's truck needs some major work and now I've got the funds to fix it. Hot diggity dog! I think of it as a charitable cause. My oldest is 18 years old. She is a beautiful honor graduate from high school. She is going places and needs a vehicle. We've had this old truck sitting in our driveway for more years than I am comfortable admitting.
Y'all, go through your jewelry boxes and sell all those ugly gold nugget rings. They ain't comin' back in style, I promise.
The food situation: Screw it. I went a week eating rice, biscuits, and then my delicious loaves of homemade white bread. I ate soup and vegetables out of a can. Remember, we had been to the beach the week before I started this nonsense (I mean, spiritual journey.) We had left our refrigerator empty by our standards. No yogurt, no milk, no greens.
Nicholas ate some squirt cheese from the pantry yesterday, I mean, what else was the boy to eat? He vomited violently all over the sofa afterwards. I have filled my intestines, and the intestines of my loved ones with enough glutton glue, to last us to the end of time. I have decided to put this crap up for the end of the world, as was intended. I figure if the Apocalypse happens, we will eat that awfulness then. Until that day comes, let us enjoy the fresh fruits and vegetables of this glorious season! Oh, and um, some whole wheat waffles and bagels.
Facebook update: I have peeked twice. To check messages only. I was on there for like 5 seconds each time. I was scheduled to meet my friend yesterday, and had to tell her Nicholas was puking. I didn't have her number. Honestly. On my honor. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.
I will say that existing without my daily strolls through status update land, has given me more time to do productive things. I really don't miss it.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for being patient with me as I mindlessly accumulated all this excess in my life. I am feeling joy as I am letting go of things. There is more space for the Holy Spirit already. I give thanks in the name of the One who says I am worth more than gold. Amen.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Baking Glue... I mean Bread
I've got bread rising on the table this morning. I am a pioneer (wink wink). I may be a failure in the kitchen, but I tell you what... this is turning on my husband. When he walked in the door and discovered rising loaves covered by dish towels, you would have thought I had performed a strip tease in the kitchen. He got a funny look in his eyes.
"Baby doll! YOU are making bread?"
"Yep."
"Oh, my goodness! What has come over you? Come here my little Betty Crocker." And then he dipped me and kissed me right there in the kitchen, making our children gag on their homemade biscuits. (Betty Crocker? really? And all this time I was aiming to be Megan Fox. Guess I'll curl my hair and wear an apron on our next date.)
My hand mixer overheated while I was mixing the dough because it got all stuck inside the little mixing thingies. My daughter, Sydney, was helping me and she casually mentioned it was smoking. I was like, you got that right. We ARE smokin'. But it really was, as in: it was about to short out and catch on fire.
Trying to get the dough out of the thingies was no simple task. The dough stuck to my hands. It was one gooey mess. I finally wrestled the dough off my hands... and arms... and face... and plopped it into the loaf pans. And then, I cleaned up. Oh, my gosh, that stuff doesn't go down the sink very easily. In fact, when it mixes with water, it really turns into GLUE. Holy cow, I am going to be feeding my children intestinal glue.
We gotta make whole wheat bread. That's normally what we eat. High fiber, whole wheat bread. Man, we've been eating biscuits, white rice, and now white bread. Oops. Guess we will be saving on the good ole Angel Soft.
On a different note: Hi, my name is Abigail, and I have not been on Facebook for 24 hours. I have this fear that someone (my teenagers?) has been posting embarrassing photos of me and tagging me in them. There might be incriminating evidence all over Facebook and I have no way of knowing in time to delete them. C'est la vie. I was productive yesterday. No Facebook feels like freedom so far. I may never go back. I got a lot of cleaning done yesterday. I am now tackling the book shelves. I have a big box of good reads to give away. I've got a long way to go, though.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for our daily bread. Amen.
"Baby doll! YOU are making bread?"
"Yep."
"Oh, my goodness! What has come over you? Come here my little Betty Crocker." And then he dipped me and kissed me right there in the kitchen, making our children gag on their homemade biscuits. (Betty Crocker? really? And all this time I was aiming to be Megan Fox. Guess I'll curl my hair and wear an apron on our next date.)
My hand mixer overheated while I was mixing the dough because it got all stuck inside the little mixing thingies. My daughter, Sydney, was helping me and she casually mentioned it was smoking. I was like, you got that right. We ARE smokin'. But it really was, as in: it was about to short out and catch on fire.
Trying to get the dough out of the thingies was no simple task. The dough stuck to my hands. It was one gooey mess. I finally wrestled the dough off my hands... and arms... and face... and plopped it into the loaf pans. And then, I cleaned up. Oh, my gosh, that stuff doesn't go down the sink very easily. In fact, when it mixes with water, it really turns into GLUE. Holy cow, I am going to be feeding my children intestinal glue.
We gotta make whole wheat bread. That's normally what we eat. High fiber, whole wheat bread. Man, we've been eating biscuits, white rice, and now white bread. Oops. Guess we will be saving on the good ole Angel Soft.
On a different note: Hi, my name is Abigail, and I have not been on Facebook for 24 hours. I have this fear that someone (my teenagers?) has been posting embarrassing photos of me and tagging me in them. There might be incriminating evidence all over Facebook and I have no way of knowing in time to delete them. C'est la vie. I was productive yesterday. No Facebook feels like freedom so far. I may never go back. I got a lot of cleaning done yesterday. I am now tackling the book shelves. I have a big box of good reads to give away. I've got a long way to go, though.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for our daily bread. Amen.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Day 4
I made homemade biscuits and gravy from scratch this morning. Go me. Yeah, it's sad that it feels like some sort of victory. I can count how many times my rolling pin has been used. So, with flour all over my hands, I feel very happy to have made something that cost like a nickle instead of buying the frozen Pilsbury biscuits for three bucks. Plus, with my commitment not to buy new food until we use all we have, it's good to know that we won't have to just eat beans and rice. We have plenty of flour.
Our oldest daughter, Jolie, and her boyfriend were coming home from the beach yesterday and with it being 108 degrees outside (literally), his car broke down. When Adrian came home from work at 6:00 pm, we drove down to rescue them. It was about a three and a half hour trip to find them, which gave us lots of chat time. Of course all I could talk about was Jen Hatmaker's book, 7. I don't know why this book is making me feel so messed up, but it is.
I have been feeling restless and frustrated since I began reading it. I am realizing the extent of the excess in my life and it makes my heart hurt. I feel impatient. I told Adrian that I want to just give everything away and go live in the forest with him and the children. We could camp and live off the land. Wouldn't that be soooo romantic? I held his hand as he drove, and visualized myself fetching water from the the river and our little dirty, barefoot babies gathering berries.
Adrian reminded me that I hate camping. He's right. I do. As a kid, I loved it though, so maybe my camper spirit is still in there somewhere. Plus he mentioned, "How could you survive without Facebook if you lived in the forest?" I hung my head in shame. The old me (as if I am a new me already, which I am definitely not) would have jumped up to defend my Social Network Habit. It's not so bad. I need it. I use it instead of e mail. People send Lula Belle questions in my message box. (I write a weekly newspaper advice column, called Ask Lula Belle). I have to check it frequently. I have to know if someone needs me.
But I didn't defend myself this time. I know I don't just use it to receive messages. I stalk people on it. I am a stalker. I stalk my friends. Sometimes for HOURS. I look through their family vacation photographs. I read their updates. I know when their cars break down, or when they have gone to the dentist, when they clean their house, when they bake cookies, when they execute a project from Pintrest, and when they need prayers. But because I know all this stuff about the folks I care about, I don't call them any more. We don't have dinner parties any more. What in the heck would we talk about if we were to get together? We already know everything. And plus, all my funny stories would fall on dead ears 'cause they already know the punch line from reading about it on my funny status that got like 56 "likes."
There is a chapter in the book about Media. After reading it, I had to ask myself if Media like Facebook is a false Idol in my life. It totally is. So are certain TV shows, like Sister Wives. I really like that show. I really like the whole TLC channel. In 7, Jen Hatmaker and her entire family give up 7 forms of Media for a month. It's a funny chapter. Her writing makes me laugh and she seems to keep it real.
I want my family to give up 7 forms of media too. We pay 78 dollars a month to watch television. Good grief. That's dumb. We didn't have it for years and years and did just fine. Adrian says he won't give it up, but I can do it. I suppose it is a tiny step. It's not the same as giving everything away to go live in the forest, but it may feel like it. Goodbye Cody and his four wives. I'll miss you. Goodbye Baby shows that make me want to have 10 more babies. Goodbye Facebook. I will not be logging in until August first, come what may. I don't even think I am going to announce it. (ha ha, I just did.) I will just be missing in action. But really, who cares? My friends and I have about 500 friends each. Out of 500 people, who could miss just one? And if they really need me, they know my phone number.
Oh man, I better delete the Facebook app from my phone. Too much temptation that thing is. It chirps at me all the time, "Chirp! Someone loves you. Chirp! Yes, you matter. Chirp! Yes, you must be important to have 73 messages and notifications. Chirp! You are so funny that 56 people like you right now at the exact moment." I don't need this. Yes, I am deep down an insecure person, but the reassurance that I am loved only needs to come from God and my family.... not from folks I haven't seen in twenty years. Sigh.
"Sometimes you have to give up a like for something you love."
Goals: continue to eat what we already have before buying more. Give up Facebook for 30 days. Keep cleaning out those drawers.
Dear Heavenly Father, I give thanks to Thee for the restlessness I am experiencing. I thank Thee for awakening me. Three more children are coming home today. I ask Thee to help me be a good teacher to them. Help me be a good example. Help me fill the Facebook void with actual productivity. Help me guide my children to what is truly meaningful and important in life. Help me bring them closer to Thee. In the name of the One who said, Let the children come to me, Amen.
Our oldest daughter, Jolie, and her boyfriend were coming home from the beach yesterday and with it being 108 degrees outside (literally), his car broke down. When Adrian came home from work at 6:00 pm, we drove down to rescue them. It was about a three and a half hour trip to find them, which gave us lots of chat time. Of course all I could talk about was Jen Hatmaker's book, 7. I don't know why this book is making me feel so messed up, but it is.
I have been feeling restless and frustrated since I began reading it. I am realizing the extent of the excess in my life and it makes my heart hurt. I feel impatient. I told Adrian that I want to just give everything away and go live in the forest with him and the children. We could camp and live off the land. Wouldn't that be soooo romantic? I held his hand as he drove, and visualized myself fetching water from the the river and our little dirty, barefoot babies gathering berries.
Adrian reminded me that I hate camping. He's right. I do. As a kid, I loved it though, so maybe my camper spirit is still in there somewhere. Plus he mentioned, "How could you survive without Facebook if you lived in the forest?" I hung my head in shame. The old me (as if I am a new me already, which I am definitely not) would have jumped up to defend my Social Network Habit. It's not so bad. I need it. I use it instead of e mail. People send Lula Belle questions in my message box. (I write a weekly newspaper advice column, called Ask Lula Belle). I have to check it frequently. I have to know if someone needs me.
But I didn't defend myself this time. I know I don't just use it to receive messages. I stalk people on it. I am a stalker. I stalk my friends. Sometimes for HOURS. I look through their family vacation photographs. I read their updates. I know when their cars break down, or when they have gone to the dentist, when they clean their house, when they bake cookies, when they execute a project from Pintrest, and when they need prayers. But because I know all this stuff about the folks I care about, I don't call them any more. We don't have dinner parties any more. What in the heck would we talk about if we were to get together? We already know everything. And plus, all my funny stories would fall on dead ears 'cause they already know the punch line from reading about it on my funny status that got like 56 "likes."
There is a chapter in the book about Media. After reading it, I had to ask myself if Media like Facebook is a false Idol in my life. It totally is. So are certain TV shows, like Sister Wives. I really like that show. I really like the whole TLC channel. In 7, Jen Hatmaker and her entire family give up 7 forms of Media for a month. It's a funny chapter. Her writing makes me laugh and she seems to keep it real.
I want my family to give up 7 forms of media too. We pay 78 dollars a month to watch television. Good grief. That's dumb. We didn't have it for years and years and did just fine. Adrian says he won't give it up, but I can do it. I suppose it is a tiny step. It's not the same as giving everything away to go live in the forest, but it may feel like it. Goodbye Cody and his four wives. I'll miss you. Goodbye Baby shows that make me want to have 10 more babies. Goodbye Facebook. I will not be logging in until August first, come what may. I don't even think I am going to announce it. (ha ha, I just did.) I will just be missing in action. But really, who cares? My friends and I have about 500 friends each. Out of 500 people, who could miss just one? And if they really need me, they know my phone number.
Oh man, I better delete the Facebook app from my phone. Too much temptation that thing is. It chirps at me all the time, "Chirp! Someone loves you. Chirp! Yes, you matter. Chirp! Yes, you must be important to have 73 messages and notifications. Chirp! You are so funny that 56 people like you right now at the exact moment." I don't need this. Yes, I am deep down an insecure person, but the reassurance that I am loved only needs to come from God and my family.... not from folks I haven't seen in twenty years. Sigh.
"Sometimes you have to give up a like for something you love."
Goals: continue to eat what we already have before buying more. Give up Facebook for 30 days. Keep cleaning out those drawers.
Dear Heavenly Father, I give thanks to Thee for the restlessness I am experiencing. I thank Thee for awakening me. Three more children are coming home today. I ask Thee to help me be a good teacher to them. Help me be a good example. Help me fill the Facebook void with actual productivity. Help me guide my children to what is truly meaningful and important in life. Help me bring them closer to Thee. In the name of the One who said, Let the children come to me, Amen.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Day 2
I did an inventory of the food we already have in our pantry, refrigerator, and freezer this morning. We have way more than I thought. I found all kinds of things in our freezer that I had forgotten about. We still have some left over goodies from an Omaha Steaks Christmas gift. I didn't know that. Score! We have tons of beans and rice in our pantry that my husband has been stocking up on as our emergency supply. I never think twice about that top shelf in the pantry because it is all food for a rainy day or the end of the world. It's good to be married to a Mormon boy who learned the value of food storage at an early age.
After looking through our food storage, I realized something quite embarrassing and sad. I don't know how to cook. I am serious. Yes, I know how to make things for meals, I do cook for seven people every day, but I really don't know how to cook. I can make casseroles. I can make recipes. I have more cook books than the average bear. I read food blogs for fun. My slow cooker is my friend. But I don't really know how to cook a steak, a pork chop, or a chicken. My biscuits come from the freezer and cost over $3.00 for a bag of 12. My kids eat frozen pizza and chicken nuggets at least once a week. I have only soaked beans over night one time in my life. It was an epic fail. This is how big my culinary skill deficit is. Who doesn't know how to make biscuits or soak beans? (me) It's not like it's rocket science.
So, my six year old and I headed to the library for story time and I found a BASIC cook book. I think it is called How to Cook Basic Food, or something exciting like that. But it's exactly what I needed. No recipe has strange ingredients, and nothing in the book comes from anything pre-made. It's like: meat. salt. pepper. the end. There ain't no call for cream of chicken soup. It's cookin' from scratch like our grannies did. It's obviously all about technique. Lord help us all. (seriously). I have ADD and have trouble watching things turn a certain color and then lifting it off at the right time. I burn everything. And I kill plants by over-watering but that is a different story. I guess I just do lots off stuff "too much."
For lunch I found some soup in the back of the pantry. I really wanted a turkey sandwich and actually thought about going to the store to buy some turkey. But I couldn't fail on my first day of trying. So I didn't. And the soup was yummy. I did realize we were going to run out of bread, though. And that's not so bad for me, but my six year old only weighs 30 pounds and has significant developmental delays and autism. He likes bread. And I am not going to totally deprive him of what he eats for lunch because finding an alternative might take an entire month. So, my husband offered to start baking bread from scratch again. Bless him. He used to make our bread in the good ole days and it was delicious. He made his own jam from the blackberry bushes in our back yard too. Have I ever told you how much I love this man? He is awesome. We did have to buy some more active yeast at the store... and he bought some ketchup. But that was his idea, not mine. He saw all the hamburger patties I had unearthed in the freezer.
Dinner tonight was pork chops from Omaha Steaks with apples and onions. The whole house still smells goooood. I learned how to cook it from the new BASIC cookbook. I felt like Julia Child. My husband was surprised when he came home from work. I was wearing an apron and everything. And I was barefoot. I think it turned him on.
I found a Dairy Queen coupon for a free Dilly Bar. We took the six year old for a treat. That's not really on my plan of becoming less gluttonous, but hey, the other four children will be home on Saturday and it's hard to split a Dilly Bar.
I cleaned out a drawer in my bedside table today. I didn't have any give aways this time, but did find some treasures. I found some letters and cards that people sent me when my Daddy passed away. I found some art work from the kids, and several silver baby cups. And of course I also found lots of outdated junk and I filled a small garbage bag. Be gone junk!
Oh! And my six year old and I made a delivery to the thrift store on the way home from the library this morning. I had 2 big black lawn bags full of gently used clothes and shoes that had been sitting around my house for... gosh.... six months. In bags. I just never made the time to deliver the bags. I don't know why. Maybe it's hard to let go of things even if I know I don't need them. But they are gone now and I really hope the children who will get them will enjoy them. It was cute stuff.
Today, 25,000 people in the world died of starvation. How could I ever look in my kitchen and say, "There's nothing in here to eat!" ??
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for a clear mind today. I thank Thee for the library. I thank Thee for all the food in my kitchen. I pray I will be grateful for each and every item until it is gone. I pray that the four children who are not back from the beach yet will not roll their eyes at me when I explain what's going on around here with my attempt to rescue our life from the excess. In the name of the One who asks me to give it all away and follow Him. Amen.
After looking through our food storage, I realized something quite embarrassing and sad. I don't know how to cook. I am serious. Yes, I know how to make things for meals, I do cook for seven people every day, but I really don't know how to cook. I can make casseroles. I can make recipes. I have more cook books than the average bear. I read food blogs for fun. My slow cooker is my friend. But I don't really know how to cook a steak, a pork chop, or a chicken. My biscuits come from the freezer and cost over $3.00 for a bag of 12. My kids eat frozen pizza and chicken nuggets at least once a week. I have only soaked beans over night one time in my life. It was an epic fail. This is how big my culinary skill deficit is. Who doesn't know how to make biscuits or soak beans? (me) It's not like it's rocket science.
So, my six year old and I headed to the library for story time and I found a BASIC cook book. I think it is called How to Cook Basic Food, or something exciting like that. But it's exactly what I needed. No recipe has strange ingredients, and nothing in the book comes from anything pre-made. It's like: meat. salt. pepper. the end. There ain't no call for cream of chicken soup. It's cookin' from scratch like our grannies did. It's obviously all about technique. Lord help us all. (seriously). I have ADD and have trouble watching things turn a certain color and then lifting it off at the right time. I burn everything. And I kill plants by over-watering but that is a different story. I guess I just do lots off stuff "too much."
For lunch I found some soup in the back of the pantry. I really wanted a turkey sandwich and actually thought about going to the store to buy some turkey. But I couldn't fail on my first day of trying. So I didn't. And the soup was yummy. I did realize we were going to run out of bread, though. And that's not so bad for me, but my six year old only weighs 30 pounds and has significant developmental delays and autism. He likes bread. And I am not going to totally deprive him of what he eats for lunch because finding an alternative might take an entire month. So, my husband offered to start baking bread from scratch again. Bless him. He used to make our bread in the good ole days and it was delicious. He made his own jam from the blackberry bushes in our back yard too. Have I ever told you how much I love this man? He is awesome. We did have to buy some more active yeast at the store... and he bought some ketchup. But that was his idea, not mine. He saw all the hamburger patties I had unearthed in the freezer.
Dinner tonight was pork chops from Omaha Steaks with apples and onions. The whole house still smells goooood. I learned how to cook it from the new BASIC cookbook. I felt like Julia Child. My husband was surprised when he came home from work. I was wearing an apron and everything. And I was barefoot. I think it turned him on.
I found a Dairy Queen coupon for a free Dilly Bar. We took the six year old for a treat. That's not really on my plan of becoming less gluttonous, but hey, the other four children will be home on Saturday and it's hard to split a Dilly Bar.
I cleaned out a drawer in my bedside table today. I didn't have any give aways this time, but did find some treasures. I found some letters and cards that people sent me when my Daddy passed away. I found some art work from the kids, and several silver baby cups. And of course I also found lots of outdated junk and I filled a small garbage bag. Be gone junk!
Oh! And my six year old and I made a delivery to the thrift store on the way home from the library this morning. I had 2 big black lawn bags full of gently used clothes and shoes that had been sitting around my house for... gosh.... six months. In bags. I just never made the time to deliver the bags. I don't know why. Maybe it's hard to let go of things even if I know I don't need them. But they are gone now and I really hope the children who will get them will enjoy them. It was cute stuff.
Today, 25,000 people in the world died of starvation. How could I ever look in my kitchen and say, "There's nothing in here to eat!" ??
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank Thee for a clear mind today. I thank Thee for the library. I thank Thee for all the food in my kitchen. I pray I will be grateful for each and every item until it is gone. I pray that the four children who are not back from the beach yet will not roll their eyes at me when I explain what's going on around here with my attempt to rescue our life from the excess. In the name of the One who asks me to give it all away and follow Him. Amen.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Day 1
OK, so I am finally reading 7 by Jen Hatmaker. My sister has been raving about this book for months. I've heard many interesting tales of my sister experimenting with 7 foods, and 7 articles of clothing, and purging excess from her life. My ears would perk up when she would share things with me over the phone about this book and how the lessons have enlightened her life. So, while at the beach this week, she gave me the book for my birthday! Yippee for me!
I am of course on fire after reading half the book so far. This is typical me style. I have so many great books on my shelves about all kinds of great things which leads me to having all these great intentions. But it's really hard to make lasting changes. I know I need to change some things in my life, but it's like I have some sort of mind block. I usually last two weeks before I give up on any great idea.
But this book is messing with my heart, which is different from the great books that mess with my head. I feel something tugging on the deepest part of me as I read this hilariously wise woman's thoughts and ideas. I am truly beginning to see all the excess in my life with fresh eyes. It is heart breaking, let me tell you.
I totally have a dual personality when it comes to my attitude. Sometimes I fully realize the struggle my family of seven faces. With my husband's business failing and going down the toilet a few years ago, things have really changed financially for my family. I get upset and tell myself, "This totally sucks." Other times, I can kick myself in the butt and say, "We are too blessed to be stressed." Both statements are true.
It doesn't really matter if we've been rich or poor, because no matter what the condition of our bank accounts has been, we have over- indulged ourselves. And I would have never admitted that before, because everything feels like a sacrifice when you are raising five children. I don't get my nails done. I don't buy new clothes. I get my hair professionally cut only once a year. My children don't have a lot of clothes. Most of their clothes are hand me downs. I have like four articles of clothing in my closet. Most of my children only own two pairs of shoes at any given time. I borrow my books from the library. We play games and create our own entertainment. My husband drives a hand me down car that has over 200,000 miles on it.
When my husband and I first got married, we pledged to be debt free and lived on just half our income for a long period of time, saving the other half. We didn't have cable TV. We spent fifty dollars a week in groceries and had plenty during those years. In doing so, we were able to save enough money to build our very own house paying cash for everything. Which is a good thing because not having a mortgage has been a huge blessing during the lean years. And on top of that, those were the best years of our lives. It really was when we were the happiest.
We lived in a small apartment, hardly had any worldly possessions, and we were totally happy. We are talking: a mattress on the floor and a baby crib in the corner kind of happy. And oddly enough, it was during those years that we had the most to give away. It was during these years that we paid a full tithing to our church, and supported our favorite non- pofit organizations with small monthly donations.
Our entire wedding cost $500.00 and that included my dress, the flowers, and everything. In fact, in lieu of wedding gifts, we asked for our guests to donate to the charity closest to their heart, or to give to Challenged Child and Friends, a preschool for special needs children where I worked. We weren't trying to save the world or anything, it is just that our mind set back then was, "Gosh, we have EVERYTHING we need. Why would we want fancy china or a new mixer?" 'Cause we were high on love, I tell ya. We were not rich by American standards, but did you know that if you make $35,000 a year, you are in the TOP 4 % income bracket of the world? I. Did. Not. Know. That. And now may I please never consider myself financially struggling.
But don't think I am patting myself on the back. Because I am not. Because though we were successful in the past, something bad happened along the way and I don't know what it is yet. For the past several years, we have been throwing food away. We buy crap. We whine about money. We are not very resourceful. I have overdrawn my account six times this year so far. I am not the self reliant person I once was. I always seem to be needing help. Every drawer in my house is overflowing to the point things spill behind the drawer and get stuck. Every closet has lost its floor. I don't know when the last time I saw the bottom of a closet was. Maybe in 2003? My attic is a land mine. I have bank statements in my office from the year my first child was born. She'll be 18 next month. I have so much STUFF!!!! I have a pantry with plenty of food, yet there is never anything to eat. Because instead of eating the beans and rice on the top shelf, we will buy whatever we were craving. There are food items on my shelf that have 27 ingredients in them because they are not really food, yet, I will eat it any way. And more. And more. And on top of that, I am overweight enough to make myself cry when I see the beach pictures my husband took of me. You bet your bottom dollar that my bottom dollar was cropped out of each and every one. And there are many incomplete projects that need to be done around the house, and I don't have the energy to finish any of them.
I am a GLUTTON. I am lustful. I crave things, even though I think I don't, which is the worst kind of person. It's called denial. I am surrounded by excess. I have too much, and it's never enough. My kids have too many toys. When something breaks, we replace it instead of fixing it. We buy cheap crap made in China and it multiplies, and our toys boxes are way too full of things our children never play with until they see it sticking out of a garbage can after one of my sporadic, random, (OK, PMS) cleaning rampages where I get out the big black garbage bags and attempt a full out attack of the hoard that I never call a hoard of STUFF that we don't need, and then feel bad and will take the kids to the Super Store so they can replace whatever I threw away with new stuff I will throw away at a later date.
I want to be happy. The kind of happy I used to be when I had less. I read that when you get rid of the excess material stuff, there is more room for the Holy Spirit. I hope so. I could really use more Holy Spirit in my life. I know the Spirit was abundant in my life in the good old days when we were so dumb that my husband asked me to marry him after we'd only known each other for six weeks. And I know it was there when we walked down the aisle just six weeks later. And I know it was there when we were making a big ole family, having lots and lots of dreams. Where did it go?
I am grateful that this book is inspiring me and lighting me on fire. Thank you, Jen Hatmaker in Austin Texas for writing this awesome, moving book. I am adjusting the philosophy of 7 to meet my own unique needs at this time, but owe the general ideas to her.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am so grateful for all my blessings, but I have lost my way, and forgotten what a blessing really is in my life. I have it all mixed up with things that aren't really blessings. Please help me as I begin this journey of rescuing my life from the excess. Please help me fight this battle against my gluttonous ways. Help me guide my family to a more spiritual life. And please help my kids with the quick- trigger gag reflex, be able to swallow things like eggs, beans, and spinach, and let them forget all about my argument that Lucky Charms are packed full of vitamins that are good for you. In the name of the One to whom I am surrendering, Amen.
Challenge for the First 30 days: Eat what we already have until it is gone before we buy more food. My pantry is full. My freezer is full. My refrigerator is full. We have plenty of food. With my old eyes, I would not recognize this. But with my new eyes, I can see that there is no reason for us to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or the next, unless running out of fruit juice is a crime on humanity, and it is illegal to eat rice and steamed frozen vegetables for lunch. When this food is gone, I will be embarking on a new challenge of buying only whole, simple, real food that we truly need, no excess.
Clean out one drawer every day. Throw away what needs to be tossed. Give away what someone else can use. Keep only what is truly needed. Lord help me. Seriously.
I am of course on fire after reading half the book so far. This is typical me style. I have so many great books on my shelves about all kinds of great things which leads me to having all these great intentions. But it's really hard to make lasting changes. I know I need to change some things in my life, but it's like I have some sort of mind block. I usually last two weeks before I give up on any great idea.
But this book is messing with my heart, which is different from the great books that mess with my head. I feel something tugging on the deepest part of me as I read this hilariously wise woman's thoughts and ideas. I am truly beginning to see all the excess in my life with fresh eyes. It is heart breaking, let me tell you.
I totally have a dual personality when it comes to my attitude. Sometimes I fully realize the struggle my family of seven faces. With my husband's business failing and going down the toilet a few years ago, things have really changed financially for my family. I get upset and tell myself, "This totally sucks." Other times, I can kick myself in the butt and say, "We are too blessed to be stressed." Both statements are true.
It doesn't really matter if we've been rich or poor, because no matter what the condition of our bank accounts has been, we have over- indulged ourselves. And I would have never admitted that before, because everything feels like a sacrifice when you are raising five children. I don't get my nails done. I don't buy new clothes. I get my hair professionally cut only once a year. My children don't have a lot of clothes. Most of their clothes are hand me downs. I have like four articles of clothing in my closet. Most of my children only own two pairs of shoes at any given time. I borrow my books from the library. We play games and create our own entertainment. My husband drives a hand me down car that has over 200,000 miles on it.
When my husband and I first got married, we pledged to be debt free and lived on just half our income for a long period of time, saving the other half. We didn't have cable TV. We spent fifty dollars a week in groceries and had plenty during those years. In doing so, we were able to save enough money to build our very own house paying cash for everything. Which is a good thing because not having a mortgage has been a huge blessing during the lean years. And on top of that, those were the best years of our lives. It really was when we were the happiest.
We lived in a small apartment, hardly had any worldly possessions, and we were totally happy. We are talking: a mattress on the floor and a baby crib in the corner kind of happy. And oddly enough, it was during those years that we had the most to give away. It was during these years that we paid a full tithing to our church, and supported our favorite non- pofit organizations with small monthly donations.
Our entire wedding cost $500.00 and that included my dress, the flowers, and everything. In fact, in lieu of wedding gifts, we asked for our guests to donate to the charity closest to their heart, or to give to Challenged Child and Friends, a preschool for special needs children where I worked. We weren't trying to save the world or anything, it is just that our mind set back then was, "Gosh, we have EVERYTHING we need. Why would we want fancy china or a new mixer?" 'Cause we were high on love, I tell ya. We were not rich by American standards, but did you know that if you make $35,000 a year, you are in the TOP 4 % income bracket of the world? I. Did. Not. Know. That. And now may I please never consider myself financially struggling.
But don't think I am patting myself on the back. Because I am not. Because though we were successful in the past, something bad happened along the way and I don't know what it is yet. For the past several years, we have been throwing food away. We buy crap. We whine about money. We are not very resourceful. I have overdrawn my account six times this year so far. I am not the self reliant person I once was. I always seem to be needing help. Every drawer in my house is overflowing to the point things spill behind the drawer and get stuck. Every closet has lost its floor. I don't know when the last time I saw the bottom of a closet was. Maybe in 2003? My attic is a land mine. I have bank statements in my office from the year my first child was born. She'll be 18 next month. I have so much STUFF!!!! I have a pantry with plenty of food, yet there is never anything to eat. Because instead of eating the beans and rice on the top shelf, we will buy whatever we were craving. There are food items on my shelf that have 27 ingredients in them because they are not really food, yet, I will eat it any way. And more. And more. And on top of that, I am overweight enough to make myself cry when I see the beach pictures my husband took of me. You bet your bottom dollar that my bottom dollar was cropped out of each and every one. And there are many incomplete projects that need to be done around the house, and I don't have the energy to finish any of them.
I am a GLUTTON. I am lustful. I crave things, even though I think I don't, which is the worst kind of person. It's called denial. I am surrounded by excess. I have too much, and it's never enough. My kids have too many toys. When something breaks, we replace it instead of fixing it. We buy cheap crap made in China and it multiplies, and our toys boxes are way too full of things our children never play with until they see it sticking out of a garbage can after one of my sporadic, random, (OK, PMS) cleaning rampages where I get out the big black garbage bags and attempt a full out attack of the hoard that I never call a hoard of STUFF that we don't need, and then feel bad and will take the kids to the Super Store so they can replace whatever I threw away with new stuff I will throw away at a later date.
I want to be happy. The kind of happy I used to be when I had less. I read that when you get rid of the excess material stuff, there is more room for the Holy Spirit. I hope so. I could really use more Holy Spirit in my life. I know the Spirit was abundant in my life in the good old days when we were so dumb that my husband asked me to marry him after we'd only known each other for six weeks. And I know it was there when we walked down the aisle just six weeks later. And I know it was there when we were making a big ole family, having lots and lots of dreams. Where did it go?
I am grateful that this book is inspiring me and lighting me on fire. Thank you, Jen Hatmaker in Austin Texas for writing this awesome, moving book. I am adjusting the philosophy of 7 to meet my own unique needs at this time, but owe the general ideas to her.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am so grateful for all my blessings, but I have lost my way, and forgotten what a blessing really is in my life. I have it all mixed up with things that aren't really blessings. Please help me as I begin this journey of rescuing my life from the excess. Please help me fight this battle against my gluttonous ways. Help me guide my family to a more spiritual life. And please help my kids with the quick- trigger gag reflex, be able to swallow things like eggs, beans, and spinach, and let them forget all about my argument that Lucky Charms are packed full of vitamins that are good for you. In the name of the One to whom I am surrendering, Amen.
Challenge for the First 30 days: Eat what we already have until it is gone before we buy more food. My pantry is full. My freezer is full. My refrigerator is full. We have plenty of food. With my old eyes, I would not recognize this. But with my new eyes, I can see that there is no reason for us to make a trip to the grocery store tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, or the next, unless running out of fruit juice is a crime on humanity, and it is illegal to eat rice and steamed frozen vegetables for lunch. When this food is gone, I will be embarking on a new challenge of buying only whole, simple, real food that we truly need, no excess.
Clean out one drawer every day. Throw away what needs to be tossed. Give away what someone else can use. Keep only what is truly needed. Lord help me. Seriously.
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