This morning, my sweetheart and I went to Lowe's and bought some shelving materials for the utility closet downstairs. Wanna hear something weird? We built our house 10 years ago, we have seven people living here, and we have never had shelves in the utility closet. It has been empty. All this time. And I have been whining about lack of closet space for ten years. And now that I am on a mission to give away everything, we are making a functional storage space. It's hilarious.
I have been making steady progress on my personal mutiny upon my gluttonous ways. Nothing earth shattering. If you came over to visit me, you probably wouldn't even notice what has changed. You probably wouldn't appreciate my children's closet overhaul unless you had seen the condition these closets were in before. And you probably wouldn't peek in my drawers, so that marvelousness would be lost on you too. It doesn't really matter. I am having the time of my life right now. No joke. My hands have been busy. My back has been sore. And it feels good. I am giving things away. I am letting go of things. It is very freeing.
And it is also a smack upside the head. When I go through a closet, I feel ashamed. Here, I have been hoarding things, taking way more than our fair share, when there are children right here in my own community who are homeless. There are children whose parents do not have the money to dress their children in properly fitting clothing, and my seven year old owns enough clothes for probably six children. Maybe ten. And blankets... I have enough blankets to keep twenty families warm during the winter.
I just have mindlessly accumulated such excess. And by my calculations, we are not rich by any means. We have five children. We live on an artist/ architect income...which in this economy means actually living on a draftman's salary, and that's it. I am a full time college student and a starving writer. So, I thought boo hoo, we have to say no to lots of things our friends get to say yes to.
And here's where the real change is happening.........
It's happening in my heart. Who knew that creating more closet space would translate into having more heart space? My heart feels bigger. As in it is gaining more room to love. More room for goodness.
Because who cares that we have to say no to dance lessons when other families have to say no to a meal?
Or who cares that we can't take the kids out to our favorite restaurant when other mothers have to say no to medication that would make a sore throat feel better.
Globally speaking, my family is in the tip top income bracket. If you are reading this, then so is yours. Got electricty? A computer? Enough food to eat today? Then, you're like me, enjoying the luxuries of living in the tip top income bracket in the world. I would not be able to look someone from a third world country in the eye and say something like, "Gosh, this economy sucks. We've had to make so many sacrifices... I mean, like I have converted all our favorite name brands to generic, and we don't get to go out for pizza every Friday any more, and I wish my husband could get a new car, but he'll have to keep driving his old one for a while longer...Aren't times so tough?"
Try telling this sob story to someone who eats a bowl of rice a day and feels lucky about it. Tell it to someone who has never had a bed, or a pillow, to a mother who has watched three of her babies die in her arms from a preventable illness. Even locally speaking, try telling this sob story to a child from my daughter's class who has been in four foster homes in seven months. If I couldn't tell my "sob story" to them, then I probably should shut up and stop telling it to anyone, including myself.
I am selfish. And the anecdote to selfishness is gratitude. So, I have started counting my blessings when I wake up in the morning. I name them one by one like that children's song, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done." The alarm goes off, and I start scrolling through my blessings and think of ten before I get out of bed:
1. indoor plumbing (come on, we are all grateful for that first thing in the morning, aren't we?)
2. good health
3. a family to love
4. corrective eyewear so I can see where I am going
5. central heating and air
6. cozy beds
7. enough food to eat
8. clean water to drink
9. a roof over our heads
10.being married to a good kisser ('cause let's face it, sometimes it's hard to be married, and if he was a bad kisser, would it be worth it to endure through the tough times? I think not.)
It starts the day off with a smile! I am like, whoa! I am way too blessed to be stressed. If I complain about ANYTHING, please someone slap me.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am taking personal inventory of all the excess in my life, and I am ashamed I ever complained that there was not enough. I am ashamed that I ever wanted more. Because all I need is right here. I thank Thee for the gift of the Holy Spirit who is my comforter and guide. The sweet, soft promptings of this Spirit are leading me to keep taking the next right step. I thank Thee for Thy patience with me as I am definitely a work in progress... who is extremely grateful beyond words. In the name of the One who said if I knew the treasure in the field, I would give everything away to have it. Amen.
And it is also a smack upside the head. When I go through a closet, I feel ashamed. Here, I have been hoarding things, taking way more than our fair share, when there are children right here in my own community who are homeless. There are children whose parents do not have the money to dress their children in properly fitting clothing, and my seven year old owns enough clothes for probably six children. Maybe ten. And blankets... I have enough blankets to keep twenty families warm during the winter.
I just have mindlessly accumulated such excess. And by my calculations, we are not rich by any means. We have five children. We live on an artist/ architect income...which in this economy means actually living on a draftman's salary, and that's it. I am a full time college student and a starving writer. So, I thought boo hoo, we have to say no to lots of things our friends get to say yes to.
And here's where the real change is happening.........
It's happening in my heart. Who knew that creating more closet space would translate into having more heart space? My heart feels bigger. As in it is gaining more room to love. More room for goodness.
Because who cares that we have to say no to dance lessons when other families have to say no to a meal?
Or who cares that we can't take the kids out to our favorite restaurant when other mothers have to say no to medication that would make a sore throat feel better.
Globally speaking, my family is in the tip top income bracket. If you are reading this, then so is yours. Got electricty? A computer? Enough food to eat today? Then, you're like me, enjoying the luxuries of living in the tip top income bracket in the world. I would not be able to look someone from a third world country in the eye and say something like, "Gosh, this economy sucks. We've had to make so many sacrifices... I mean, like I have converted all our favorite name brands to generic, and we don't get to go out for pizza every Friday any more, and I wish my husband could get a new car, but he'll have to keep driving his old one for a while longer...Aren't times so tough?"
Try telling this sob story to someone who eats a bowl of rice a day and feels lucky about it. Tell it to someone who has never had a bed, or a pillow, to a mother who has watched three of her babies die in her arms from a preventable illness. Even locally speaking, try telling this sob story to a child from my daughter's class who has been in four foster homes in seven months. If I couldn't tell my "sob story" to them, then I probably should shut up and stop telling it to anyone, including myself.
I am selfish. And the anecdote to selfishness is gratitude. So, I have started counting my blessings when I wake up in the morning. I name them one by one like that children's song, "Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done." The alarm goes off, and I start scrolling through my blessings and think of ten before I get out of bed:
1. indoor plumbing (come on, we are all grateful for that first thing in the morning, aren't we?)
2. good health
3. a family to love
4. corrective eyewear so I can see where I am going
5. central heating and air
6. cozy beds
7. enough food to eat
8. clean water to drink
9. a roof over our heads
10.being married to a good kisser ('cause let's face it, sometimes it's hard to be married, and if he was a bad kisser, would it be worth it to endure through the tough times? I think not.)
It starts the day off with a smile! I am like, whoa! I am way too blessed to be stressed. If I complain about ANYTHING, please someone slap me.
Dear Heavenly Father, I am taking personal inventory of all the excess in my life, and I am ashamed I ever complained that there was not enough. I am ashamed that I ever wanted more. Because all I need is right here. I thank Thee for the gift of the Holy Spirit who is my comforter and guide. The sweet, soft promptings of this Spirit are leading me to keep taking the next right step. I thank Thee for Thy patience with me as I am definitely a work in progress... who is extremely grateful beyond words. In the name of the One who said if I knew the treasure in the field, I would give everything away to have it. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment